The Mindset of Success

Enhance Your Charisma Quotient: How to Make Yourself a People and Opportunity Magnet

You know those people who seem to instantly grab attention and draw others to them, almost like a magnet? It’s as though things come easily for them and people go out of their way to help them out. They attract work opportunities, friends, dates, and more.

We all want to be like that, but wonder if we can.

Are those people just born with this magnetic quality? Is it their personality? Their looks? Their intelligence? Or is it something that can be learned?

Charisma Myths

Unfortunately there are many myths about what makes people charismatic. These misconceptions hold many of us back from feeling that we are charismatic and therefore, projecting it to others.

In reality, it is not just the rich and famous who are charismatic. It is not just the natural super-model types or star students who graduate in the top of their classes. Anyone can be charismatic and become a magnet for all they want. Yes, you can too!

The biggest myth is that charisma is about how you act—that you must be extroverted and a natural leader to have personal magnetism. This is not true. In reality, true charisma comes from inside and radiates out, drawing others to you, and making you more influential and persuasive.

The Makings of Charisma

Charisma and personal magnetism are what draw others to you, make people interested in what you have to say, and help you to be a confident leader in all you do. The most important aspect is how you make other people feel. This is why the key components of charisma and personal magnetism include:

Empathy

Empathy is your ability to see situations and feelings from another person’s perspective. When you convey empathy to others, you show them that you understand, or seek to understand, their position. People feel that have truly heard them and that you care about them. True empathy cannot be faked. People see right through this and it is worse to feign empathy than to express none at all. Some of us are naturally higher on empathy than others, but anyone can learn to be more empathic.

Curiosity

Curiosity feeds into empathy because when you are really interested in and curious about someone, it is easy to express empathy. Charisma people are inquisitive about a variety of topics, not just what they are interested in, but also what others are interested in. They love learning and ask compelling questions.

Focus

Charismatic people maintain an intense level of focus on the person with whom they are speaking. When you talk to a charismatic person, you feel important, as though no one else exists in the room. This attracts you to the charismatic person and makes you feel good about yourself when you’re around them.

Presence

Your presence includes your poise, or ability to gracefully handle setbacks and your appearance. You do not need to be classically “good looking,” instead, you present yourself well and in a way that is appropriate to the situation and the image you want to project. The most important aspect of your appearance is your body language. Charismatic people have great posture, make eye contact, smile, and gesture naturally.

Do you have what it takes? Of course you do. Work on developing these skills and you may surprise yourself with just how charismatic others find you.

Workplace Productivity: Resist Temptations and Stay Focused at Work

What Tempts Us?

 

Let’s face it, there are many things that are more tempting to do at work than work. Essentially, the temptation is either to avoid doing something that seems taxing or intimidating or to do something that seems like more fun, or both. Your temptation may be social, such as chatting with coworkers. You may avoid work by surfing the internet. You may be tempted by looking out the window at the sunny sky and daydreaming.

 

Many people are tempted to slack off when the weather gets nice outside, when they’re tired, when their energy levels drop (such as mid-afternoon), and when they have difficult work activities to do.

 

A Little Slacking Is Good

 

Plan both productivity and slacking off into your work day. We can’t work at 100% without breaks, so the best thing to do is to be productive when you’re being productive and relax when you’re relaxing.

 

Plan a brief 5-10 minute relaxation activity every 90 minutes. Plan a lunch break to re-fuel and re-energize. There is no pride or strength in getting into a battle of wills with yourself. Instead, predict your distractions and set up a schedule to keep them from interrupting you.

 

Forget Willpower

 

I don’t believe in willpower. I think that the best way to resist temptations is to create situations where you aren’t forced to face temptation and battle yourself about whether to give in. The psychological term for this is “stimulus control,” and it’s about structuring your environment and habits to reduce temptation.

 

The first step is to know what tempts you, and the second step is to plan to avoid those situations.

 

For example:

·         If you’re tempted to stop in your coworkers office and chat (wasting 30 minutes of your day) every time you pass her office, choose to walk down a different hallway.

·         If you can’t resist checking email every time a new message comes in (distracting you and requiring much more mental energy to refocus constantly), turn off your email indicators, close Outlook, and only check at designated times of the day.

·         If you’re tempted to duck out of work early to enjoy the beautiful spring or summer weather (but doing so will not impress the boss or make you miss out on important opportunities), schedule a meeting for later in the day. Then plan something enjoyable outdoors for when it is time to leave.

 

Boost Your Energy

 

When you battle temptations at work, you use a lot of energy and often end up giving in and feeling guilty. Using these “stimulus control” strategies keeps you focused on what’s most important, keeps you out of situations which distract you, and channels your energy into productive or relaxing endeavors.

 

Are You Tempted By Unhealthy Food Choices?

 

If so, you’re likely to get stuck on the low energy-sugar-energy peak-energy crash cycle that negatively impacts mood, energy, and productivity. If you struggle with emotional eating at work (or anywhere) here’s a resource to help you.

 

10 Quick Ways to Boost Your Personal Magnetism

No matter what your goal in life—from selling more to having your kids listen to your rules to commanding an audience when presenting—personal magnetism will help you get there. Here are 10 ways to build your charisma and make yourself magnetic:

1. Be self-aware. We must first be aware of ourselves before we can control how we feel or the perception of others. Enhance your self-awareness by paying attention to how you think and feel in various situations. Recognize the thoughts that go through your mind and your reactions. Also be aware of your actions including your body language.
    
2. Move to Boost Your Mood. A cheerful mood is contagious and one of the most powerful ways to increase your personal magnetism. The most reliable and fastest way to boost your mood is through exercise. Moderate exercise releases endorphins and other mood-enhancing neurotransmitters and neuromodulators. As a bonus, if you exercise outside, you get the benefits of being in nature and the cheer-inducing sunshine.
    
3. Make it about others. Let’s face it, charisma isn’t really about us. It’s about how we make others feel. The best way to make others feel good is to be genuinely interested in learning about them. Ask questions. Get engaged in what others say.
    
4. Show what you know. Knowledge is sexy. Don’t hold back on sharing your ideas. Have strong convictions. Show that you are a leader with a clear view of where you are going. Be clear on whether you’re expressing something as fact or as your opinion because you’ll lose credibility if you try to pass your opinions off as fact.
    
5. Grooming isn’t just for dogs. Personal hygiene and grooming greatly impacts how you feel and how others see you. Dress your best. Invest in high quality fabrics and tailoring to be sure you convey the image you want and feel great. This sounds superficial, and it is, but that’s okay.
    
6. Cultivate your empathy. Listening and conveying empathy boosts your personal magnetism. Empathy is actually one of the very most important aspects in how able you are to influence others. If people think that you don’t get them, they will resist your influence.
    
7. Tell a great story. Nothing is more engaging than a wonderful story. Practice telling stories every chance you get—at meetings, at cocktail parties, with your significant other over dinner, to your children.
    
8. Remember names. Everyone loves hearing their own name. Just don’t overdo it by saying their name in every sentence. Sales trainers often teach salespeople to say prospects and clients names. Then they say the names every sentence and it sounds very artificial. Practice gratitude. Being appreciative for what you have is a key to happiness and a cheerful disposition, both of which make you more attractive to others.
    
9. Hone your humor. Everyone loves people who make them laugh. Learn your personal style for using humor and use it regularly. One way to learn humor is through observation—pay attention to funny people you know and on television.

10. Develop poise. We are all naturally attracted to those people that can’t be ruffled. Show grace under fire, roll with the punches, and stand up as a leader (instead of backing down or retreating) in the face of challenges.

 

Practice these ten tips and watch how much more quickly and easily you attract great people, opportunities, and success. You’ll see that you can be as charismatic as the world’s most famous celebrities, politicians, and speakers, and the best part is that you don’t even have to try. It will just come naturally to you, and the confidence and positivity you feel will be contagious to those around you.

Can You Outsource Your Self-Marketing?

Your self-marketing is how you influence the perception that others have of you and your business. It includes both verbal and nonverbal communication. For example, your “audio logo,” how you describe the benefit that you bring to clients and customers, and what you say on your office voicemail make up verbal self-marketing. Your image, your tone of voice, and your body language are examples of nonverbal communication and self-branding.

Do you dislike marketing yourself? If so, you’re like many business owners, salespeople, and professionals who are afraid of being overly self promotional or marketing themselves in the wrong way.

I advise people to outsource things because others can effectively do those activities NOT because they fear those activities. That is, if you want to outsource your social media marketing because you don’t enjoy it and would like to free up time for other activities, great. But if you could be great at social media marketing, but avoid it because it makes you nervous, then it’s time to get better at it.

Cold-calling is another common example. If you represent yourself best but dread cold-calling, it’s worth getting good at it, and most of us can. (For help becoming proficient at cold-calling, here are some excellent resources.

 

Answering this key question requires being honest with yourself. You’ll likely come up with many reasons (excuses) why someone else could do a better job marketing or selling you and your business. Skeptically evaluate these reasons by asking yourself these questions:

1.      Would I be the best person to do this activity?

2.      Could I learn how to do this?

3.      Could I be good at this if I overcome my discomfort with it?

If you answer yes to two or all of these questions, it is probably worth trying it out. You may eventually decide to outsource the activity, but it’s worth trying it out yourself first.

 

Mastering the Challenge of Self-Marketing

As a business owner, you directly or indirectly need to market yourself to market your business. If you’re like most people, you don’t like this.

 

I know that I don’t (although I’m much more comfortable with it now than I was a few years ago).

 

Why is marketing ourselves so uncomfortable?

 

Well, I think that there are important lessons to be learned by paying attention to our discomfort (with marketing or anything for that matter). In fact, this is the subject of my new book, so I’ve been doing a lot of research on the topic.

 

Some questions to ask yourself include:

 

• Am I uncomfortable because I don’t know how to best position the benefits of my services or products?

 

• Is there anyone I can partner with or get support from who can help me hone my ideas, discuss marketing strategies, or brainstorm new approaches?

 

• Am I clear on the value that I provide to others (If you’re not crystal clear, it will be tough to market).

 

• Do I dislike self-marketing because I haven’t gotten the best results in the past? And if so, what can I do differently?

 

• Am I concerned that I will bother or offend people? And if so, what can I do differently? (hint, focus on the benefits to them).

 

Once you become clear on your message, value, and goal in self-marketing, you are 75% of the way there.

 

Then comes practicing.

 

When you practice, please don’t use a canned elevator speech. When you’re too rehearsed, you sound artificial and you lose your natural likeability that draws prospective clients, customers, or business partners to you.

 

Focus on creating a dialogue in which you learn more about the other person and how you can benefit them (if indeed you can—do not assume that this is true).

 

Don’t try to sell your biggest service or item right away—that may be too fast. Instead, focus on the next step in building the relationship and getting in front of your prospect in a way that benefits them.

 

When you do these things, you present a clear and compelling benefit. The focus is off of you and onto the conversation, the other person, or the results that they can achieve. This makes them feel heard and makes you feel less self-conscious.

 

When you challenge yourself to market yourself in this way, you’re likely to get better results. And results are what sell. We need you to sell yourself on why you’re great at marketing yourself. Great results will accomplish this and prove to you that you can be a great self marketer.

 

And when people benefit from your product your service, you’ll remember that it’s not really about you anyway, it’s all about offering something that can help them make their lives easier, more efficient, more successful, or more enjoyable. And that is worth marketing!

 

Have Work Anxiety? How to Conquer The Common Work Fears and Phobias

The fear of work is very common. Many people are anxious at work every day and will avoid going to work, dealing with difficult people at work, and challenging projects.

Some of the most common fears at work are:

1.      Public speaking

2.      Informal conversations (office parties, water cooler conversations)

3.      Other situations where you can embarrass yourself

4.      Losing one’s job

5.      Not performing at or above par; failure (this entails perfectionism)

6.      Dealing with difficult people at work (including your boss)

 

All of these anxieties center around the fear of losing esteem in the eyes of others or yourself.

 

How Does Work Anxiety Relate to Work Stress?

Workplace anxiety entails your fears and worries about yourself and your work performance. Stress entails your sense of being overwhelmed or overtaxed by the quantity and magnitude of work you need to complete.

Stress management can also be helpful because work stress can increase anxiety. You can reduce work stress by practicing your assertiveness skills and declining certain projects, delegating tasks, teaming up with people to help with certain projects, asking your boss for help, and practicing work stress management at home by building in relaxing and enjoying activities.

 

Is Work Anxiety Something More Serious?

Anxiety at work can signify an underlying anxiety disorder, although this is not always the case. Indicators that you may actually have an anxiety disorder and need professional help rather than normal levels of worry are:

1.      Anxiety is so intense that it is creating significant physical symptoms, such as panic attacks.

2.      You are avoiding important work-related or other activities and can’t get yourself to confront them.

3.      Anxiety is interfering with functioning, including eating, sleeping, and socializing.

4.      Your mood is consistently down because you’re so upset about the anxiety you experience.

 

If you are experiencing these symptoms, speak with your doctor. Anxiety disorders are highly responsive to treatments such as medications and cognitive behavioral therapy.

 

How to Overcome Work Anxiety

The way to handle work related fears involve 5 steps:

1.      Recognize if the anxiety is realistic (ex, your boss really is a tyrant) or exaggerated.

 

2.      Learn specific behavioral skills to best handle the feared situation, such as assertiveness skills, conflict management, public speaking training, and organization skills.

 

3.      Plan to confront your fears by gradually seek out the feared situations, beginning with the easier ones and working up to the harder ones.

 

4.      Ask yourself what the worst thing that could happen is, and how you’d handle it in the unlikely event that it did happen.

 

5.      Deal with unwanted work-related worries that occur while at home by writing concerns down and problem-solving each one.

 

6.      Find a mentor and build a support team at work to help you perform your best.

 

7.      Explore whether your role, your company or your line of work are the best match for your natural talents, abilities, and interests, and seek out ways to best utilize your strengths.

 

 While some people are more susceptible to anxiety than others, you are not destined to be uncomfortable with your work and you can overcome work anxiety and enjoy your time at work.

Career Reinvention: Part Evolution, Part Revolution

I believe that reinvention should be part evolution and part revolution. You may choose to move up in the same direction that you’ve been heading or steer towards a completely new course.

 

Whatever you do, realize that your career reinvention is a fine-tuning of your personal brand. It entails others’ perception of you and the way that you present yourself.

 

On the evolution side, hold the factors constant that have made your career successful. Continue to develop these aspects. These are things such as:

 

·         Your interpersonal strengths

·         Your natural talents

·         Your education and learned skill sets

·         Aspects of your personal brand, such as your professional image and communication style, and  that fit the new avenue you’re pursuing

 

On the revolution side:

·         An entirely new direction or field

·         A new target audience (customers or clients)

·         New strategic alliances. For business owners, a new set of investors. For people who have jobs, new colleagues.

·         Aspects of your personal brand (professional image, etc.) that you need to modify to fit the new avenue you’re pursuing

·         Personal development to strengthen areas that are important in the new direction. For example, communication skills, focus and efficiency.

·         Professional development to strengthen areas that are important in the new direction (job training, specific skill development, mentoring and training)

 

Think about some ways to reinvent your career and make the changes YOU want.

 

Learn more about how to take charge of your career and be a Confident Leader in all you do.

How to Make Your Marketing Memorable

Your USP is your unique selling proposition. It is what makes you memorable to your target audience. Before going further, take a minute to be sure that your USP is tailored to your target audience.

Consider things like: their needs, motives, what they are willing to spend and why they would spend it on your product/service, frustrations, what they enjoy, who they spend their time with, values, beliefs, what they are currently using instead of your project, why they would want to change, where they are located.

Once you know these things, your USP is powerful but not yet memorable. Using people’s memory is so key because it if you’re able to create a mental file in someone’s mind, they’re much more likely to think of you, buy from you, or refer to you in the future.

Remember the process of the marketing cycle is AIDA: Attention, Interest, Desire, Action. Most people make the mistakes of focusing on Attention and Interest. While these are important, they are not enough because people will forget about you and not take action. When you get into your prospects’ memory, you build on their desire for your services or products and they are more likely to take action now or later.

I’ll briefly explain how memory works. There are 4 stages in creating a memory (and your USP needs to get at all of them):

1. Attention: You must grab attention. Most marketing strategies stop here and are ineffective.
2. Short term Memory: This lasts for a matter of seconds. Branding is helpful in getting into short-term memory. Be sure your name, image, colors, and copy are all consistent.
3. Working Memory: This is the key stage. Get into working memory by getting people to think about your message, arouse emotions, or remind them of a past experience, Think of your prospect’s memory like a big filing cabinet. You need to create a file for them or help them to file your message into a previously created file.
4. Long Term Memory: Once something is been encoded into your working memory it goes into long-term memory. The challenge then becomes reminding people what they know. Keep-in- touch marketing is so effective because it reminds prospects about what you do.

The most difficult steps are 1 and 3. There’s so much information competing for our attention these days, that your USP needs to stand out. The way to do get into working memory is to get people thinking. Some great questions to bring forth are:

• How can this improve my situation in a way that nothing else can?
• How can this help me so I never have to worry about X again?
• How can this save me money and how much could I save?
• Could this work better than what I’m using now?

Put yourself in the position of your prospect and walk through the process of your marketing tactics to see if they’re memorable. The point for you to remember: Memory = Money. Make yourself memorable and you’ll save valuable time and money and increase your product and service sales substantially.

Bad Bosses: 9 Ways to Positively Influence Even the Most Difficult Boss

If you have a difficult, demanding boss, you may feel helpless. After all, that is your boss. In  reality you are not trapped and you can actually make a significant difference with any boss. “Leading up” is a skill that allows you to influence your boss. Here are some tips on how to manage up and create the work environment you want:

1)      State the priorities: “I understand that project A is a priority and that it is due on Friday. In order to get the results we need on that one, I cannot take on project B this week. If there’s still a need for work on project B next week, I’d be happy to lead it.”

 

2)      Be direct and do not over-explain. If you start explaining too much you’ll reduce your credibility and appear to be defensive and offering excuses.

 

3)      Refer to your track record. For example, “You and I have both been pleased with my performance in our organization to date. You know that I’m not a slacker and my saying no is because I’m working on being strategic and not taking on more than I can successfully accomplish.”

 

4)      Ask for your boss’s support. This sounds strange, but it is of the “If you can’t beat them join them” approach. Now, with increasing demands on my time, I’m concerned that the quality could decrease. How do you suggest we handle this?” Saying “we” is critical. This approach is very effective because she co-creates the solution and will, therefore, need to support it ongoing.

 

5)      Calmly state your position referring to evidence. You don’t want your boss thinking that you’re simply emotional or unable to handle stress. It is crucial that you remain calm and highlight specific objective examples.

 

6)      Be aware of your body language. Even if your boss is intimidating, look her in the eyes, sit or stand up straight, and maintain a serious facial expression while making your request. This will enable her to take you seriously and respect your assertion.

 

7)      Take responsibility. Do not say “You give me too much work,” because saying “you” will put her on the defensive. Instead take responsibility for your response and request.

 

8)      Express empathy for your boss’s position. Empathy is the most important characteristic in your ability to influence others. Your boss will best understand you if you express understanding for her. This will also allow you to collaboratively come to solutions.

 

9)      Don’t back down from the boundary you established. For example, if you told your boss, “I will be taking a personal lunch today for 45 minutes and won’t be accessible except in a true emergency,” and midway through your lunch your boss calls your cell, don’t answer it. Let her leave a message. If it is truly urgent, call her back and if not, touch base when you get back to the office.

Strategic Work Breaks: How to Take Breaks at Work to Replenish Energy and Boost Productivity

Whether you work from home, at an office, or on the road, you may feel pressure to work continuously without taking breaks. This philosophy come from the old school “more is more” camp, which focuses on hard work, rather than what truly makes us as effective and efficient as possible.

 

Ironically many people don’t take breaks because they think that it will make them more productive. They think that they’ll get more done if they use the time to work or take a “working lunch.” The opposite is true.

 

Taking a work break is very helpful in restoring energy and reducing stress. Peak performers push themselves and then take strategic breaks. It’s like working out a muscle- you want to exercise it until it’s tired and then give adequate recovery before exercising it again.

 

In addition to brief stretching and mental breaks during the day, I advocate making good use of your lunch break. A lunch break can also be a great time to network with coworkers and build your work relationships.

 

And of course the nutrition from a healthy lunch boosts energy and reduces susceptibility to mood difficulties (depression, anxiety, burnout).

 

I recommend that people be strategic about their lunch breaks by considering:

 

1)      The purpose of the lunch break (networking, rest, etc.)

 

2)      Their personalities. Introverts, for example, will rejuvenate better with solo time, while extroverts reenergize by chatting with others.

 

3)      The minimum amount of time to achieve their goal. As little as 15 minutes can serve to reset set-points if utilized effectively.

 

4)      Getting out of the office. A simple change in scenery can make a major difference in replenishing energy for peak performance.

 

 

If you are unsure, try it out and see what works for you. When you find the best ways to use your breaks, you’re likely to see that they improve the quality of your work and your mood throughout the workday.

 

Sometimes the Most Rewarding Things are the Least Expected

My mom is a talented artist and gardener. She has taught me so much about creating and appreciating beauty in art and nature. She has an amazing garden which I've always admired.

Last year my husband and I moved out of the city and into a house with a yard. I thought I'd love a garden like my mom's but that I'd need to hire a landscape designer and landscapers. I never thought I had the patience or interest in gardening. In fact, it sounded kind-of boring and awful to me. I liked the results but didn't want to engage in the process. She encouraged me to try it out and start small and last year I planted a few perennials.

Well, this spring, I've found it very exciting to watch these flowers grow back, even more full and beautiful than last year. My mom helped me add to the garden and now I'm hooked. I've found gardening to be one of the most enjoyable and rewarding things I've ever done. I love looking outside each day and seeing the new developments.

This weekend my husband and I are going to see a Dead (formerly Grateful Dead) concert. There's a quote in a song called Scarlet Begonias:

"Once in a while you can get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right."

(I planted scarlet begonias in my yard and this quote seems fitting to my gardening experience)

Think about what you've resisted or thought you couldn't or wouldn't do, and try it out. Start small and see what happens.

Here's a picture of my mom painting in France.

Recent Personal Development Lessons on Maximizing Strengths and Overcoming Weaknesses

As a new mother of a 5-week old, I'm having some profound personal development lessons. In addition to the overwhelming feelings of love and responsibility for this adorable little person, I'm learning a lot about myself.

Patience has never been my virtue.  My strength, on the other hand, is action. I love to get things done. Our strengths often also illuminate our weaknesses.

The flipside of my action and achievement orientation strength is impatience. It's always been hard for me to not do something when my energy is flowing in that direction. This is why I keep my schedule fairly flexible (rather than booked solid with clients), so I can follow what I'm driven to do in the moment.

Well, obviously with a newborn, I'm on his schedule, and I can't always do things when I'd like to (like eat and shower!). I found this change to be challenging at first. I've actually been surprised that I do have patience when I focus on it. My lesson has been that overcoming a weakness takes attention and incentive. My incentive has been a clear one (the baby), but they aren't always so clear, sometimes we need to think about hidden incentives.

I've been working on reframing my views of action and productivity so that I continue to maximize my strengths while working on my weakness (impatience). It's interesting how sometimes a subtle mindset shift makes such a difference. It's helped me to focus on the important things I am doing, rather than the things I'm not able to do.

How have you learned to reframe a situation to leverage your strengths and overcome a weakness?

P.S. See baby photos on my facebook profile and read my updates on Twitter

10 Ways to Assertively Lead Up and Influence Authority Figures

What do you do if you have a boss or other authority figures who are making your life miserable? Are you destined to discomfort? Not really. Before giving up, try the skill of “leading up.”

“Leading up” is an assertiveness skill that allows you to influence your boss or any authority figure who needs to make some changes. Here are some tips on how to do this:

1)     State the priorities. For example, “I understand that project A is a priority and that it is due on Friday. In order to get the results we need on that one, I cannot take on project B this week. If there’s still a need for work on project B next week, I’d be happy to lead it.”

 

2)     Be direct and do not over-explain. If you start explaining too much you’ll reduce your credibility and appear to be defensive and offering excuses.

 

 

3)     Refer to your track record. For example, “You and I have both been pleased with my performance to date. You know that I’m not a slacker and my saying no is because I’m working on being strategic and not taking on more than I can successfully accomplish.”

 

4)     Ask for your boss’s support. This sounds strange, but it is of the “If you can’t beat them join them” approach. Say, “With increasing demands on my time, I’m concerned that the quality could decrease. How do you suggest we handle this?” Saying “we” is critical. This approach is very effective because your boss co-creates the solution and will, therefore, need to support it ongoing.

 

5)     Calmly state your position referring to evidence. You don’t want your boss thinking that you’re simply emotional or unable to handle stress. It is crucial that you remain calm and highlight specific objective examples.

 

6)     Be aware of your body language. Even if your boss is intimidating, look her in the eyes, sit or stand up straight, and maintain a serious facial expression while making your request. This will enable her to take you seriously and respect your assertion.

 

7)     Take responsibility. Do not say “You give me too much work,” because saying “you” will put her on the defensive. Instead take responsibility for your response and request.

 

8)     Express empathy for your boss’s position. Empathy is the most important characteristic in your ability to influence others. Your boss will best understand you if you express understanding for her. This will also allow you to collaboratively come to solutions.

 

9)     Don’t back down from the boundary you established. For example, if you told your boss, “I will be taking a personal lunch today for 45 minutes and won’t be accessible except in a true emergency,” and midway through your lunch your boss calls your cell, don’t answer it. Let her leave a message. If it is truly urgent, call her back and if not, touch base when you get back to the office.

 

10) Benefit your boss. Go out of your way to find opportunities to make your boss or other authority figure’s life easier. They will appreciate this and reciprocate.

 

 

 

It may take some time and practice to start to see changes. The key is that you are consistent in your efforts and that you project confidence, empathy, and self-assurance.

 

 

 

Understand and Use the Psychology of Your Prospects and Clients

You’ve probably heard the idea that you need to know and be in touch with the needs and wants of your prospect (prospective client or customer). But what does this really mean and how do you figure it out?

 

We often base our marketing on what we think our clients’ needs are rather than what they are actually asking for. I’ll share the story of one of my clients to illustrate this idea.

 

Sandra owns a wellness center in New Jersey. She prided herself and her business on offering great quality services for affordable prices. She figured that her clientele needed to relax and have massages and other spa services without spending too much money because spending a fortune would make them stressed again.

 

I understood her idea about clients coming in, becoming relaxed and then quickly becoming un-relaxed when they had to pay their bill. I encouraged her to check this assumption out with her clients. It turned out to be correct.

 

I asked Sandra to find out more about the emotional experience her clients were looking for. Her clients are busy professionals and it turned out that they wanted to have a relaxing experience in a short amount of time. These clients valued time more than money.

 

I suggested that Sandra invest in making the décor of her wellness center more of an experience for people to engage the 5 senses using aromas, water features, lighting, artwork, and so on. This amps up the intensity of the experience.

 

I also recommended that Sandra have all new clients fill out a custom card. On it, they answered questions about their musical preferences, whether they like to talk during a service or have time to think or read, and so on. The service providers read these cards each time a client visits and are able to provide a completely custom experience that maximizes relaxation and results in a short-period of time.

 

Additionally I suggested pre-pay cards with bonuses after a certain number of services. This way, clients don’t have to take out their wallet at each visit. They can even pre-pay tips.

 

Using these ideas Sandra was actually able to increase her rates. She understood and met the psychology and needs of her target market, and created a loyal clientele.

 

Let’s get back to you—How can you challenge your assumptions about your client market, find out their real needs and desires, and create a menu of services and products that is custom-fit to them?

 

This question is worth spending some time on, because when you are able to answer it, you will really know your prospects and clients. And that is the key to a successful business.

 

 

10 Ways to Motivate Employees in a Tight Economy (without Financial Incentives)

Study after study has shown that what motivates employees is not money. Money can make employees unhappy if they are not sufficiently compensated, but it has not been shown to lead to motivation, satisfaction or performance.

 

Fortunately, in a tight economy, what motivates employees most are free things, such as:

 

1.      A manager who expresses caring and compassion for employees.

 

2.      Clear job expectations and feedback.

 

3.      Being on high-performing work-teams with inspiring coworkers.

 

4.      Being praised at least once per week. Specific praise is better than general praise.

 

5.      Providing opportunities for training, growth, and development.

 

6.      Allowing employees to specialize and do what they do best.

 

7.      Providing employees with opportunities to take on challenges. The optimal challenge level for intrinsic motivation is 4 out of 5.

 

8.      The way that goals are formed—Goals framed as performance-mastery or performance approach are best. These are goals that are framed around improving or selecting the best. The least effective goals are framed as performance-avoidance, which means that the worst performance will be selected (the goal is framed around what to avoid).

 

9.      Framing goals around the type of motivation individual employees have. The most common three types of motivation are affiliation (seeking stronger relationships), power (seeking leadership), and achievement (seeking knowledge).

 

10.  Conveying a positive mood. The mood of leaders is contagious to others. Leaders who convey a cheerful mood have more positive, productive, and motivated employees.